Hang in there
It's really amazing to me how one day can start off as garbage and end magnificently. Or vice versa. The point here is that if you let things play out you will be rewarded. I'm getting better at it. Sometimes I just have to sit still, live, work through the feelings. Something I never did before. I'd simply pick up a six pack and drink it on the way to the bar. And crack open a bottle(s) of wine at home and numb myself into a state where everything vanished and I only saw what I wanted to see. Now in sobriety I have to feel and see everything. There is no more hiding from myself. No more running to stand still. It's work. But it's worth it. I'm only 8 months in. But I can already feel and see the life changing benefits of a life without booze. Based on what I know now, my days are only going to get better. And yours will too. Hang in there.